Another Platypus
by Shwoo
Summary: Wanting to know his enemy better, Doofenshmirtz turns himself into a platypus, and just happens to infiltrate the Flynn-Fletcher house. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

The doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" called Phineas, and he and Ferb ran to the door. He loved getting the door. There were so many possibilities. The person at the door might be an amnesiac hobo who was secretly the heir to the throne of Druelsestein. Or a lost astronaut who thought he was on Mars! Or...

Phineas opened the door. Then he looked up and down the street. "Huh. That's weird." There was nobody there.

He turned to look at Ferb, who pointed down.

"Oh!"

A little platypus stared up at them from the doorstep.

"Hey, little guy," said Phineas. He picked him up. The platypus was a bit lighter than Perry, and his fur was a bit darker, too. "Where'd you come from?" He and Ferb looked out the door. Yes, the street was definitely empty. Phineas shrugged, and they carried him inside.

A note fell to the ground. Ferb picked it up, read it, and handed it to Phineas.

"Please look after this platypus," Phineas read. Well, it worked for Paddington Bear. "I bet Perry would love a playmate!" The platypus he was holding jerked a little, which he took as encouragement. "Come on, I'll introduce you!" He looked around. "Hey, where is Perry, anyway?"

Ferb pointed to the living room, where Perry was sleeping in his basket.

"Oh, there he is!" Funny, Phineas would have expected him to have wandered off by now.

.

Perry dozed. He was just awake enough to know that he wouldn't have to get up any time soon. Finally, a day off! Even with the best job in the world, it was nice to be allowed to relax sometimes. Today, he didn't even have to think about evil schemes, or implausible martial arts moves, or not blowing his cover. He'd even got Doofenshmirtz to sign a statement that he would not try to hurt anybody or do anything to the Tri-State Area until tomorrow, and that hadn't been easy.

He became aware that there was somebody nearby, and sleepily opened his eyes. Then he jumped. Phineas was putting another platypus down next to his basket.

"There you go, little fella!" said Phineas. To Perry he said "We found him on the doorstep! Cool, huh?"

Perry stood up on all fours and inspected the other platypus. He was a bit smaller and skinnier than Perry was, and he stood with his legs slightly bent. He also seemed to have some brown hairs scattered through his fur, which was weird. Perry had never heard of a platypus with brown fur. The stranger stared at Perry with a weirdly intense gaze for a platypus.

Perry made eye contact and growled. He had nothing against the stranger, but it was the proper protocol when another platypus entered his territory. Not growling would be like saying that it was okay to come into his place and take all his stuff.

Instead of acknowledging his dominance or even challenging him, the other platypus turned away and inspected Perry's food bowl. Perry stared. He felt like he'd just taken a breath underwater. That shouldn't have happened. The stranger was either very, very rude, or very, very naive.

Phineas followed his gaze. "I guess he's hungry," he said to Ferb. "Wait here!" he told the platypus.

Once Phineas and Ferb had run to the kitchen, the platypus turned back to Perry and said "So, how am I doing?"

That was Doofenshmirtz's voice.

Perry froze.

Oblivious to his reaction, the platypus - Doofenshmirtz - continued. "Hey, you know what? My nemesis is a platypus with exactly the same name as you! Exactly the same! I mean, what are the odds?"

Perry's rising panic subsided very slightly. Doofenshmirtz didn't recognise him. Not all was lost. But Doofenshmirtz was still in his house. Doofenshmirtz couldn't be in his house. What was he doing there? The boys were in danger.

"I suppose maybe you're wondering what's going on and how..." He hesitated. "Or maybe not? You know, I did some research before I came here, I watched a nature documentary... It turns out platypuses aren't very smart." There was a brief pause. "I know, I was surprised too."

Perry gave him his best vacant stare.

"Oh, what the heck," said Doofenshmirtz, with a very human flip of his hand. "So like I was saying, my nemesis, he's a platypus. Every day I come up with a new evil scheme, and every day he thwarts it without even breaking a sweat! Oooh, it makes me so angry sometimes! So I said to myself, Doof - that's my name. Sort of - Doof, your problem is that you don't know any of his secret weaknesses."

If Perry had any secret weaknesses, then they were so well-hidden that not even he knew what they were.

"I mean, he's got to have some, right?" continued Doofenshmirtz. "Everyone has... Anyway, like I said, I watched a nature documentary about platypuses, but they spent nearly the entire time just talking about how "weird" and "confused" they were, and it's like, they know what they are. You're the one who's confused. And then it came to me. Instead of watching some smarmy nature presenter make things up, I could just turn myself into a platypus, go to the house of someone who I know has a pet platypus and observe their behaviour. I... I think the rest is fairly self-explanatory. I left a note. You know, it worked for Paddington Bear..."

Perry turned and took a bite of his food, partly because he was hungry, but mostly so that Doofenshmirtz couldn't see his face. He wasn't sure how long he could keep up the vacant expression without his true feelings slipping out. How could he know that Phineas and Ferb had a pet platypus? Had the platypus themed restaurant they'd made had been a clue? The restaurant had been harmless, so Perry hoped that that was all it was.

He swallowed and took another bite. Technically, Doofenshmirtz had not violated their agreement. He wasn't trying to hurt anyone or take over anywhere. But he didn't like Doofenshmirtz being so close to Phineas and Ferb. It frightened him. And the longer he stayed here, the higher the chance that he might discover who Perry really was. And he didn't like Doofenshmirtz being so close to Phineas and Ferb.

Perry realised that his thoughts were going around in circles. He needed to clear his head. He needed orders.

Perry turned and walked towards the back door, willing himself to walk slowly. The side of the house entrance in the backyard should be safe at this time of day. He hoped.

"Oh, you're leaving?" said Doofenshmirtz, behind him. "Uh, okay! See you later!"

Perry made sure he'd left the house before he let any expression show on his face. Once outside, he relaxed into a worried frown. He really didn't want to leave Doofenshmirtz alone for too long, but he had to tell headquarters what was going on. Maybe they could send in someone else in to take care of the problem... No. That would look even more suspicious. But he had to tell headquarters.

.

Perry arrived at his base, put on his hat, and turned on the screen. A giant image of Major Monogram appeared. He looked a little confused. "Uh... Agent P. You are aware that it's your day off, right?"

Perry nodded impatiently, and quickly and concisely explained what had happened.

Major Monogram looked alarmed. "Great googly moogly! Do you think he suspects anything?"

Perry shook his head. Unless Doofenshmirtz was playing dumb, which was unlikely, he wasn't going to recognise Perry unless he was wearing his hat. It would have made Perry think that all platypuses looked the same to humans, but he knew that Phineas could recognise him in a group. So it was probably just another thing about Doofenshmirtz.

Major Monogram rubbed his chin. "Well, all the agents are out on missions, so... I'm afraid you're on your own for now, Agent P."

"I could help him, sir!" called Carl from offscreen.

Major Monogram looked to his right. "I already told you, Carl, no more missions until the Slushy Corporation accepts our apology!"

"Aoaw..."

That was probably for the best. Doofenshmirtz would have recognised Carl. Sometimes Perry wondered whether the annual good/evil mix and mingle events were such great ideas, but he was just a field agent. He couldn't hope to understand these things.

"I'll see what I can do," said Major Monogram, "but for now, your number one priority is to prevent Doofenshmirtz from discovering your identity."

Perry saluted. It wasn't much of a goal, but it was enough to make him feel a lot better.

.

When Perry returned to the living room, he found Doofenshmirtz sitting in front of the TV, watching car ads with a confused slant to his tail. Luckily, there was no sign of Phineas or Ferb. Perry watched him for a while, but he didn't seem to be doing anything evil. Finally, he chattered to get Doofenshmirtz's attention.

Doofenshmirtz looked over his shoulder. "Oh. It's... it's you. Hey, let me ask you something. What is ithis/i?" He stood up on two legs, with a much less pronounced slouch than usual, and waved his hands around.

Perry blinked once.

Doofenshmirtz tapped his bill. "I think it's coming from my beak. I've got a... I've got a funny feeling in there." He walked out of range of the TV's electrical field. "But now, it's gone!" He walked back to the edge of the field. "Here." He turned away from the TV. "Gone! Weird, huh?"

Perry stopped himself from rolling his eyes. It occurred to him that maybe humans couldn't actually sense electricity with their mouths. He'd never really thought about it before, but it made sense. It wasn't a very useful ability out of water. And it would explain why Doofenshmirtz called it a feeling when it wasn't. Human languages didn't include many words for concepts outside their experience.

Out of the corner of his right eye, Perry noticed Candace walk by. Doofenshmirtz had his back to her. Perfect. Not wanting to give away her presence, Perry very deliberately didn't look at her.

"I tell you, Perr-" began Doofenshmirtz.

Candace gasped. "Did you just talk?"

Doofenshmirtz jerked in surprise, and quickly turned around.

"Haven't I seen you somewhere be-" he said, then guiltily dropped to all fours and made a passable attempt at a chattering noise.

"Oh no," said Candace, glaring. "That's not gonna work on me. Just wait until mom finds out that Phineas and Ferb have genetically engineered a talking platypus!"

Seeing that Doofenshmirtz was about to run, Perry accidentally trod on his tail.

"Argh!"

Candace picked Doofenshmirtz up and carried him outside. Perry followed.

Phineas and Ferb were sitting under the tree, intent on some blueprints.

"You guys are so busted!"

The boys looked up in puzzlement. "But we haven't even started construction yet, Candace," said Phineas.

"Ugh, not... whatever that is!" Candace indicated the blueprints with her free hand. "This!" She thrust Doofenshmirtz forwards. "Genetically engineering a talking platypus? That's weird even for you guys."

"He talks?" said Phineas, and he and Ferb stared at Doofenshmirtz. "Awesome!"

"Yeah, and I'm gonna go straight to..." said Candace, then paused. "Wait. What do you mean 'He talks'? You're the ones who made him!"

"Listen, Candace," said Phineas. He walked over to her. "As much fun as that sounds, we didn't create him. We just found him on the doorstep this morning."

Candace stood there for a second, then slowly turned Doofenshmirtz to face her. "But if you found him, then why can he talk?" Her voice was full of suspicion.

Perry noted with satisfaction that Doofenshmirtz looked terrified.


	2. Chapter 2

Doofenshmirtz was beginning to get worried. That strangely familiar looking teenage girl... Candy, had the triangle headed boy called her?... What if she figured it out? If she realised that he was really a grown man with _very good reasons_ to need to understand platypuses better... Well, it would be awkward. The police might be called.

The girl had put him down in front of the bowl of platypus food that those little boys had given him. Doofenshmirtz hadn't been able to bring himself to touch it. He'd eaten some weird stuff during his childhood back in Gimmelschtump, usually as some sort of initiation ritual to some club that the other boys had made up on the spot specifically to deny him membership, but... But he'd lost his train of thought. Something about wiping exclusive clubs from the face of the Tri-State Area?

"Go on," said Caroline or Claudia or whoever she was, with the same kind of smile that Doofenshmirtz saw every morning when he practiced his evil laugh in the mirror, "Eat it. Every platypus _loves_ platypus food."

Doofenshmirtz looked around desperately. He might have been able to escape to the right if Dumb Perry, as he'd nicknamed him to distinguish him from Suave, Capable Secret Agent Perry the Platypus, hadn't been sitting in the way. Doofenshmirtz imagined that he was smirking at him too.

Claire smiled again. "Now all I have to do is wait until mom comes back and I can show her that he can't be a real platypus because he won't eat the food." Her face froze. "But what if she says 'Candace, just because he won't eat his food doesn't mean he's not a platypus' or 'Candace, the only platypus here is Perry' or 'Candace, can it wait until I've parked the car?'." Then she relaxed and flipped her hand. "Eh. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."

Candace. That was it, that was her name.

Doofenshmirtz looked at the food again. It didn't look too bad... Platypuses ate worms and insect larvae, right? Gingerly, he leaned over, sealed his nostrils shut - apparently platypuses could do that, who knew - and took a bite.

He chewed thoughtfully. It had an interesting texture... a lot like the undefinable slop his mother had served whenever the general store was out of definable slop. In retrospect he probably should have wondered more about that stuff. Doofenshmirtz took another bite. He almost kind of liked it.

A car horn beeped from outside, and Candace said "Ooh! Ooh!", and ran out of the room.

Doofenshmirtz kept eating. He was hungrier than he'd thought, and this stuff wasn't that bad.

Less than a minute later, Candace returned, dragging an attractive woman who... it couldn't be! It was the woman he'd had that disastrous blind date with at the drive-in! Somehow, she was even more attractive than she'd been back that. Her name was Linda, if he remembered right.

Linda, if it really was her, looked down at him. "Aw, what a cute little platypus." She stroked him, which was nice. Extremely awkward, but nice.

"I told you, mom!" insisted Candace. "He talks! In some kind of a German accent!"

Linda straightened up. "He certainly seems to have Perry on edge."

They all looked at Dumb Perry, who was staring directly at Doofenshmirtz with his eyes slightly narrowed. The expression was so familiar that Doofenshmirtz began to wonder if... But no, that was stupid. He didn't even have a hat.

"It's because he knows there's something weird about him!" insisted Candace. "Animals can sense evil!"

"Or he's just mad there's another platypus in his territory," suggested Linda. "They're very territorial, you know."

She left the room.

Doofenshmirtz let out a breath. "That was a close one." Then, realising what he'd said, he gasped.

Candace stared at him, and yelled "Mom! Mom!"

"Not now, honey!"

Candace picked up Dumb Perry, whose expression had reverted to his normal moronic look. "Don't worry, Perry, we'll think of something." She carried him out of the room, and Doofenshmirtz relaxed slightly. Then she came back in and added "I'm watching you. W-A-T-C-H-I-N-G! Watching!"

.

Doofenshmirtz attempted to look stupid, and wondered what Perry the Platypus was doing with his day off. Probably lounging in a hot tub of pure gold, watching a widescreen TV of pure gold, and having caviar served to him on a pure gold plate. Well, the joke was on him. Pure gold was way too soft to use as furniture and silverware. In fact, you change its shape with your bare hands. What an idiot.

Perry almost wanted to tremble. He'd actually let his feelings show on his face in front of his owners, and his nemesis, too. He knew it was a big mental leap from "Perry looks more focused than usual" to "Perry must be a secret agent", but that didn't stop him from worrying about it. Luckily, it looked like Candace was in one of her more psychotic moods. He could probably put on his hat and stand in front of her doing the Hokey Pokey and she wouldn't notice.

Doofenshmirtz he was a bit more concerned about. Perry had to get rid of him before he hurt somebody or figured out Perry's identity, but how? If the glare hadn't made him suspicious, seeing Perry the pet vanish and Perry the secret agent appear from nowhere probably would. And he didn't want to take that chance.

Candace sat down on her bed and hugged Perry too hard. "They don't believe us. They _never_ believe us. But we know the truth, don't we, Perry?"

Perry couldn't argue with that.

Candace started to rock back and forth, still squeezing Perry uncomfortably hard. Then she frowned and opened the window, thrusting her head through the curtains. "Would you keep it down? I am trying to have a mental breakdown!"

Perry could just about see Phineas appear at the window, wearing a welding visor. He lifted it up. "Sorry, Candace."

Candace hesitated. "Hey... you wouldn't happen to be making some sort of platypus mind reader or something, would you? Or... Or a tiny spy camera!"

Perry tried not to tense up when Candace mentioned the platypus mind reader. The translator had been bad enough. Pinky could use it with his secret intact, but Pinky still thought that his commanding officer Wanda was inside the screen when she gave him his missions, and Perry had figured that out within a month. He was perfectly happy with his current ability to communicate.

Phineas shook his head. "We're making the world's largest - and coolest - merry-go-round! Wanna help?"

Candace snorted. "Is that all?" She slammed the window shut and returned to her bed. "Think, Candace, think!" She seemed to get an idea, and dropped Perry on her covers. "Okay, Perry, hold still."

.

A few minutes later, Perry had a video camera tied to his back. He sighed slightly. He felt like a pack animal.

"Now!" said Candace. "Get down there and film him!"

Perry didn't move. Her was sure that even someone like Doofenshmirtz wouldn't fall for something like this. But an idea had finally crystallised in his brain, and he wondered why he hadn't thought of it earlier. He blamed his lack of a hat. He didn't feel like Agent P without his hat.

"Go _on_, Perry!" said Candace.

She pushed him out the door with her foot, and he started down the stairs. Not used to the weight of the camera on his back, he stumbled and nearly fell onto it, but his reflexes kicked in and he did a perfect summersault, landing securely on the next step down. After that, he negotiated the steps much more carefully.

Back in the living room, Doofenshmirtz was staring at the TV again, moving his head in and out of detectable range of its electric field.

Perry chattered.

To his credit, Doofenshmirtz looked around before he spoke. "Oh! Dumb Perry," he said, "It's... It's just you."

Perry smirked inwardly, partly because the camera was rolling, and partly because of "dumb Perry".

"What's that on your back? Is... Is that a camera? It makes you look like a pack animal, you know." He stiffened, seeming to realise what this meant. "I'm... going to stop talking now," he said sheepishly.

Perry waited, in case he said something else. Although it was hard to tell because he was usually on a mission at the time, it seemed like every time Candace tried to show Linda what the boys were doing, the evidence always disappeared. Perry wondered whether she'd have any more luck trying to unmask Doofenshmirtz.

It was impossible to tell, but to be safe, he needed to act like Candace's efforts would fail. Maybe, for example, something would set off the smoke alarm and the sprinklers would come on, ruining the film in the camera. That would be impressive, because the house didn't have sprinklers, but it was always good to keep an open mind.

Linda came past, vacuuming. When she saw Perry, she turned off the vacuum and untied the camera from his back. As she did, Candace came down the stairs, giggling her unsettling giggle. "Candace," said Linda, holding up the camera with a steely look in her eyes, "did you tie this to Perry?"

Perry began to walk away. He needed to gather a few things.

"Yeahyeahyeahyeah! Look!" said Candace.

There was a brief pause.

"You do realise it's out of batteries?" said Linda.

Perry turned the corner at that moment, but somehow the wall didn't muffle Candace's frustrated growl at all.


	3. Chapter 3

Candace sat on the couch and pried the old batteries out of the camera, seething. She was going to expose that "platypus" somehow, or die trying. Well, maybe not die. But she had to do something. He thought he could just come into her house and... watch TV. Well, he couldn't.

It occurred to her that she could just pick up the platypus and take him somewhere far, far away. He could obviously take care of himself. But she dismissed it. She had her tried and tested busting method, and she was going to stick to it. Besides, she wanted him to get arrested for whatever weird thing he was trying to do. The police wouldn't take calls from her anymore, but if she could just get proof...

Candace finished replacing the batteries and looked around for Perry.

He was gone.

Candace groaned, and stood up and walked through the house, keeping an eye out for anything green. "Oh great! I bet he's wandered off again. Perry! Here, boy!"

That wasn't going to work. Perry was a platypus, not a dog.

Candace opened the back door and looked out. "Phineas! Ferb!"

They were riding some stupid merry-go-round on huge stupid animals that were either real, or very good robots. Some lame song was playing. Candace couldn't see how it was supposed to be so fun, but all the neighbourhood kids seemed to be there.

"Do you have Perry?" she called.

Phineas was riding with Isabella on what looked like a sabre-toothed tiger. "No, but if you see him, bring him out! He loves merry-go-rounds!"

Candace slammed the door shut. She could still hear the music, and she frowned. "How is mom not hearing that?" She'd have to point it out to her once she was done with the talking platypus.

The platypus was still in the living room when Candace came back. He'd stopped staring at the TV, and was now inspecting the stereo. Candace put a hand over her mouth. He must be planning to rob them! She couldn't let him out of her sight. She might not have Perry, but she didn't need him anyway. The other platypus was sure to slip up in front of her again.

She knelt down and started filming him. He was so engrossed in appraising their stereo that he didn't even seem to notice.

.

Perry had a good view of the living room from the light fixture. He had his hat on, but as long as Candace didn't look up, and people usually didn't, he'd be fine. He wasn't as worried about Doofenshmirtz looking up. Doofenshmirtz really seemed to be transfixed by his electroreception ability. Unless he was trying to think of a way to use it against Perry, in which case he was wasting his time, he seemed to have completely forgotten his original purpose.

Perry waited, and waited. Candace didn't move. Perry glanced out the window at the merry-go-round. He had to get this finished before the boys came back in, or he might not get another chance to carry out his plan. He needed to get Doofenshmirtz alone.

Finally, Linda's voice emanated from the direction of the kitchen. "Candace, honey, could you come dry up?"

Candace glanced up, startled. "But mom, the platypus..."

"Candace..." said Linda in her 'you're using up more patience than I have to spare' voice.

Candace scrambled to her feet, still holding the camera. "Okay, I'm coming!"

As soon as she was out of sight, Perry produced the model of himself that Buford and Baljeet had made a few weeks ago, and tossed it down into his basket. He'd stapled it together, and it almost looked like the real thing if he stared at the sun for while and then went into a darkened room with his eyes unfocused. But it was still close enough to fool Doofenshmirtz.

Perry jumped right in front of his nemesis, and struck a fighting pose.

"Smart Perry the Platypus?" said Doofenshmirtz. Then he narrowed his eyes. "Wait a minute..." He looked around, his gaze settling on Perry's basket.

Hastily, Perry threw his voice in the direction of the model. Those ventriloquism classes he'd had to take back in training finally had a use.

Seemingly reassured, Doofenshmirtz turned back to Perry, and faltered when he saw his expression. He laughed nervously. "Well I wouldn't really call this evil, exactly. More... reconnaissance."

Perry grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and dragged him towards the door, keeping an eye out in case someone was coming.

Doofenshmirtz continued to babble. "You know, you have a day to yourself, you want to make it count. Know your enemy, as they say. Did you know platypuses can sense electricity? Oh... I guess you did know about that. Well I didn't, Mr Smarty Beak, but now I'm one step closer to figuring out your secret weakness! What do you think about that, huh?"

Perry dragged him through the pet entrance in the front door. He was a bit unsure of what he was going to do with him when they got outdoors, where anyone might see him with his hat, but he'd think of something.

Doofenshmirtz suddenly twisted out of his grip and elbowed Perry in the back. "Hah!"

They faced each other on the front doorstep. Perry waited for Doofenshmirtz to make the first move while he sized up the situation. Doofenshmirtz wasn't a bad fighter. Sometimes he almost beat him, when Perry was holding back. But he was untrained, and probably not used to fighting someone his own size. And he couldn't know much about fighting in a platypus body. Even with his back to the street where everyone could see him for all he knew, Perry had the advantage.

Doofenshmirtz jumped at him, and Perry dodged and used his momentum to swing Doofenshmirtz out onto the front lawn. He glanced around, and noticed that the giant merry-go-round was moving extremely fast and tilting. It gave him an idea. He ran towards it. He was sure that the kids on the ride were moving much too fast to see him.

"Hey, Perry the Platypus, come back here!" To Perry's relief, Doofenshmirtz sounded like he was giving chase.

When he judged that he was close enough, Perry stopped running abruptly, and Doofenshmirtz ran into him. As soon as he did, Perry ducked and pushed him upwards, towards the merry-go-round. He hit, and Perry stared at it in satisfaction for a few seconds. Then he frowned. It was spinning very fast. Why wasn't Doofenshmirtz flying away?

Doofenshmirtz held onto the side of the huge contraption so hard that his knuckles were white. Or he assumed they were white. It was hard to tell under the fur. Platypuses had such thick, velvety fur. He kept wanting to stroke it. Doofenshmirtz forced himself to concentrate, and tried to figure out where he was.

There were children riding giant robotic animals. What was up with that? More importantly, there was a lever nearby. It must be the emergency stop lever. What else could it be?

With an enormous effort, Doofenshmirtz pulled himself onto the surface of the machine, and crawled towards the lever. The metal was rough enough that he could brace his hands and feet against it without sliding off, but he couldn't move his tail well enough to brace it against anything. In fact, it felt like it was going to come off, which hurt more than he would have guessed before he'd got a tail. But finally, he managed to grab the lever, and centrifugal force did the rest.

The contraption shuddered, and Doofenshmirtz risked letting go of the lever to pump his fist in the air. And Perry the Platypus thought he'd won.

Then it fell apart, and before Doofenshmirtz had realised what had happened, he was flying high over the suburbs. "Cure you, Perry the Platypus!"

.

The wind whistled around Ferb's giant sea scorpion robot. He wrinkled his forehead. For some reason, the merry-go-round had fallen apart five minutes ahead of schedule. He hadn't pulled the self-destruct lever, and he was sure that Phineas hadn't either. Then he shrugged and activated the momentum cancelling parachutes. He'd really enjoyed making the parachutes. They were one of Phineas's best ideas yet.

The animatronic animals slowly fell to the ground, and then crumbled into nothingness. The crumbling had been Phineas's idea. He was really into recycling this week.

Some of the kids thanked Phineas as they left. None of them thanked Ferb, but he didn't mind. The fun was in the building.

Now that their project for the day was finished, they decided to go back inside to check on the platypus they'd found. Ferb wondered if Candace was right and he really did talk. He'd always wondered what it was like to be a platypus.

But the only one they found was Perry, who was sitting in his basket.

Phineas scratched his head. "I wonder where the other platypus went."

Ferb did the same. The other platypus was definitely gone. What a shame.

"I guess he ran off," said Phineas, after a few seconds. He leaned down and stroked Perry.

Ferb thought that Perry looked a bit smug, and wondered how well they'd really got along. Perry didn't mind Pinky, but as far as Ferb could remember, he'd never spent much time with another platypus since they'd got him.

Candace came in, wielding a video camera. "All right! Where is he?"

Phineas looked up. "The platypus we found? We don't know, he's not here. We think he ran away."

Candace deflated. "Ugh!" Then she brightened. "But wait! Your mechanical... spinny... whatever is still in the back yard, right?"

They just looked at her. Ferb wondered what she wanted it for.

Candace sighed. "It's gone, isn't it?"

They nodded.

Candace sighed again. "I'll be in my room." She left.

Phineas stroked Perry again. "At least we still have you, boy."

Perry seemed to smile, and, not for the first time, Ferb wondered whether Perry wasn't smarter than he looked.

.

"Aaaaaarrrrggggh... oof!"

Doofenshmirtz landed on the balcony of his building, unhurt. "Well... that was convenient." He stood up. His hands were sore from standing on them all day, but at least he'd learned more about platypuses. Like... that they could sense electricity. He hadn't known that. And that they didn't like having their tails pulled.

Doofenshmirtz went inside and approached his Platynator, his mind already full of ways to make a Tail-Pullinator work. Then he stopped. The reverse button was high up on the machine, way out of his reach. "Ah, yes, of course..." He'd started platypus proofing all his -inators. He didn't know why he hadn't done that from the start, really. "Norm, could you come get this... Oh, right, he's still at that self-maintenance seminar." A waste of money, if he asked himself.

Doofenshmirtz jumped for the button, but fell far short. "Argh!" He grabbed the side of the machine and tried to haul himself up, but his hands slipped off. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't beat the super slippery lubricant that he'd treated the outside of the Platynator with.

"Vanessa?" he called, hopefully. It wasn't her weekend to live with him, but maybe she'd finally acquired a sudden and burning desire to fill the world with evil and had come to him for advice. He had to hope. "Vanessa, are you here?"

Silence.

"Curse you, Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz yelled again, for good measure.


End file.
